Reaching Out
by BrowniePoints15
Summary: After the events of TLJ, Rey and Ben feel lost. Only after opening the bond between them again do they start to feel happy. *Rated M for future smut*
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys, this is my first time writing a fanfic in a long time. I'm sorry if I'm a bit rusty. I want to write a Reylo fanfic but I want to make sure the story is good too. The first chapter is a bit dragged out but I promise future chapters are going to progress quicky. Reviews and criticism encouraged. Thank you :)**

Kylo rolled over in his sleep, shrugging the blankets off as he did. His room aboard the First Order ship was too hot, he never had a good night sleep. Once again, he found himself looking up at the ceiling, thinking about recent events. _Why couldn't she just accept my offer? We both know there is a connection between us. With or without Snoke's help they would have eventually come together._

Sighing he rolled over again, he stretched his long limbs out before him, willing sleep to come. What he wasn't expecting was to feel a warm body lying next to him sprawled out beneath the covers. Moving his arm out more he felt an arm closest to him, he tightened his grip on the arm, gauging whether this was real or in his mind. _I couldn't be that sleep deprived, could I?_ Using the force, he willed the lights in his quarters to come on. Bracing himself, he pulled back the covers from the bed and found.. _nothing?_

Rey's eyes snapped open, her heart hammering in her chest. Trying to slow down her breathing she tried to remember what it was that caused her to wake up. She couldn't remember, but a small niggling part in the back of her mind was telling her she wasn't alone. Calmly, she got up off her bed and turned on the light, her room was empty. _Stop being so childish Rey!_ she scolded herself. _Bad dreams are for children._

Ever since the events on Crait, her mind has been elsewhere. She's been distancing herself from Finn and his new best friend Poe. She didn't mean to, but she just had so much going on in her mind and they didn't get it. They were 1000% committed to the Resistance and planning strategies whereas all she was worrying about was how Snoke got into her head. How did she not notice that he was manipulating her. _How could she be so braindead?!_ She felt like a pariah within the resistance. She felt like everywhere she went people were judging her, questioning her. She knew they didn't mean it, but they couldn't help it after what had happened. It was her worst mistake telling them about the bond with Ben and what happened to Snoke.

She wanted Leia to know what her son had done. She just didn't expect to be questioned about her connection to Ben. They all fought with her when she said he was conflicted. She understood where they were coming from, they just didn't know him. _Why else would he kill Snoke? He could have just as easily turned on me after that too, but he fought with me._ It was killing her not being able to talk to him, she had so many questions and the more days that pass the more isolated she feels.

When she left Crait and seen Ben looking up at her, that was the last time she had any form of communication with him. The bond between them was tightly shut. She suspects that was because she rejected his offer, he is now of course the Supreme Leader of the First Order. He was more than likely planning another attack on her and her friends, but she couldn't shake the feeling that they needed to speak, at least one more time. Too much happened that day, and they need to speak about it.

Kylo tossed away his ninth training dummy of the evening, leaving them on the floor of the hall, someone else would pick it up. As he walked down the long corridor to the main part of the ship, he noticed people moving out of his way, further down he seen people turning into other halls. He knew they were moving out of his path hoping he wouldn't notice them. That incident with the lightsaber in his room spread like wildfire onboard and people generally were uneasy around him. He was sick of everyone on this wretched ship.

He strode into the main deck and looked around. At the sound of his approach everyone jumped to attention and started trying to look busy at their stations. Hux was standing at the large window to the front of the ship, hands folded behind his back trying to look superior.

''Hux!'' Kylo said, putting power into his voice. Hux's body visibly cringed as he turned to face Kylo.

''Ah, Supreme Leader, I uh was just making sure everything was going smoothly for you while you, ah, trained.'' He said the last word with disdain. He didn't see the point in physical training and believed all physical work in battles should be done from ships or by the stormtroopers.

''Your consideration for my schedule is almost touching. I was indeed training, as a Supreme Leader I plan to do more for the First Order than Snoke did, sitting on his _throne_ away from everything. I plan to _do something_ with my time as Supreme Leader. You're dismissed.''

Hux's face turned red as he muttered a reply under his breath. Kylo stepped to the side and let Hux walk around him, enjoying the frustration steaming off the smaller man. Kylo took a deep breath and went into what he liked to call _Supreme Leader_ _mode._ Time to get things done.

Rey had spent the day exploring the planet they have inhabitated as the base of the Resistance. They had found a large series of hollowed out caves that they established as their headquarters. It was a beautiful planet, full of trees and rivers and mountains that Rey loved to explore. Noone except her has gone exploring the planet since they landed. She thought maybe everyone was terrified of the First Order finding them. Everyone was especially on edge ever since the massacre she missed when the Resistance was trying to flee their main ship.

Rey had taken some of the food provisions with her today because she planned on spending the evening outside. She had found a nice little lake under a waterfall, and behind the waterfall was a cave. This was her new favourite place. She was completely at piece here. There was noone tip-toeing around her, noone looking at her strangely. She missed the days on Lukes island. She was content with her training and she had begun to feel comfortable with the day to day jobs that came with living on the island. She missed the peace there, she had spoken to Ben a lot too when she was there. Not to mention the time in the hut when they had touched hands. There was a lot connecting them, more than the bond that Snoke created.

Her mind wandered to Ben, as if often does. She wondered what he was doing now. She lay in that cave for a few hours, not wanting to go back to the base just yet. The sun was long down when an idea popped into her head. She had never tried to initiate contact through the force, it was always random. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and reached through the force. She had no idea how to do this, when Luke passed, and they made their get-a-way on Crait, she hasn't tried using the force much.

She thought of Ben, she thought of the connection they had through the Force and when they touched hands and then settled on the memory of them fighting as one after Snoke's death. She felt a tug deep within her as she harnessed the Force to reopen her connection to Ben. A knot formed in her stomach, she thought about letting go and giving up, but a wave of determination came over her and she relented. A sudden sense of peace engulfed her and she knew she had done it, however weakly, she could not see him just, she could only sense his presence.

''Ben?'' she whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

***Kylo***

''Ben?''

 _When will these hallucinations stop? First imagining her beside him this morning and now this?_ All he wanted was a good night's sleep. Scowling, he went back to his work, trying to make a solid plan for their next attack on the Resistance was proving difficult. He had no clue where they went after Crait, and there has been no talk or sightings of them, no matter how many scouts he sent out.

''Ben? Can you hear me?'' He lifted his head and quickly scanned the room. It was hard to pin that one on his imagination, it sounded real. There was no sign that anyone was in his room, let alone _her._ Turning back to his maps, he decided he'd had enough and was going to go train once again to tire himself out.

''Ben?! Please don't ignore me. We need to talk.'' That was definitely her. _How?_ Turning around once again he closed his eyes and connected to the Force. He felt her there. _How is she doing this? They hadn't had contact in well over 2 weeks, I thought the bond was surely broken._

''Rey?'' He said tentatively.

''Ben!'' Rey shouted. _Oh wow, it is her. How the-?_

''What are you- How are you- _What?!''_

''I'm using the Force,'' she said quite proudly. ''I can't see you though, I don't think I'm strong enough.''

He focused more and willed the bond between them to open more. Rey had done the hard part, she had reopened the bond. It was easy then to use his power to open it even further. In a few seconds, he was standing in front of her. She was sitting cross legged on the ground, eyes shut tight in concentration. They were outside, he took a glance behind him, they were behind a waterfall in a cave. He knew he shouldn't be doing this. She was the enemy. They were at war. But - he couldn't help it. She was the only person he had ever known that made him feel like he had a choice.

''Rey.'' he said softly.

Her eyes snapped open in shock. When she seen him a smile broke out across her face, it made his heart jump to see someone smile at the sight of him. For many years he had only known people to fear him, to turn away from him. The smile left her face as quickly as it appeared, she stood up and brushed her legs off. She took a step toward him, then stopped herself.

They both seemed to be at a loss for words now that they were face to face. He looked down at his hands and opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it and stopped himself. He looked up at her to see she had not taken her eyes off him since he appeared. It made him uneasy, he wasn't used to people staring at him like this.

 ***Rey***

He was actually here. In front of her. And she didn't know what to say to him now after she had initiated this. She didn't like to admit it, but the sight of him had her heart in her throat.

''Ho-How have you been?'' she asked, fully aware of how stupid she sounded. A flash of annoyance came over her as she seen him smirk at her obvious nervousness. She took a large intake of breath ready to tell him off but not before he cut her off.

''I've been... keeping busy. I uh thought that the bond was closed between.. us. I would have- I mean how have you opened it?''

Rey found herself smiling once again; glad he seemed just as flustered as she was. He cleared his throat and looked at her once again. _I don't think I've ever seen him flustered or at a loss for words before, I like it._

''I just concentrated really hard, I uh need the company. It's been.. different ever since Crait. People have been treating me like a pariah ever since I got back. I'm sick of people walking on eggshells around me. I thought maybe you would know how that feels maybe? I don't know I might be wrong.''

''I get it. You should try being the _terrifying_ Supreme Leader of the First Order. I'm surrounded by idiots.''

''Can we just forget about what happened after you killed Snoke? Please? It was good before that. We fought together. You can't tell me you just forgot about everything that happened before you asked me to- I can't leave the Resistance. I just couldn't. I'm not going to ask you to return to the Light anymore. That's a choice only you can make. Please just don't shut me out.''

 ***Kylo***

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. She wanted to be around him. She wanted it enough to forget he was in the First Order. Of course he was going to accept, he has been unable to get her out of his mind since Crait. He didn't even care about the consequences right now he just wanted to spend some time with her.

''I'm glad you reopened the bond. I've been feeling the same. My days have just been repeating themselves it gets quite monotonous. Of course I want to forget about everything.'' He took a deep breath. ''I'm sorry for putting you on the spot back there. I shouldn't have tried to make you choose. I think- I think you made the right choice in rejecting me. It put things into perspective for me.''

He could see her body visibly relaxing after he said that. He took a step closer to her and sat down on the blanket she had laid out, she quickly followed and pretty soon the two of them were laying on their backs and looking up at the roof of the cave at all the sparkling crystals embedded in the rock.

After a while, he tentatively lowered his hand, brushing his hand along hers silently asking her. To his relief, she accepted and opened her hand to his. This was different than what happened on Skywalkers hideaway. Their fingers were intertwined and he felt the warmth of her body lying next to him. At the contact he felt some of what she must have been feeling through the Force. She felt content, and for once so did he. And for the first time in a long time, he dozed off without hassle, hand in hand with Rey beside him.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hi Guys! Sorry it's been like a week since I posted, I've been super busy getting back to work after the New Year and when I sat down to write I hit a complete writers block. I wanted to make this chapter longer and worth the wait! Sorry again!**_

 ***Kylo***

He woke up lying on his side, with his arm around her waist. He lifted his head slightly, her small body was curled up against his body. He didn't know what to do. If he moved, she would wake up, and he honestly had no clue what to do in this situation. Suddenly Rey's body shifted and she turned her body toward his, she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest. When she finally settled and stopped moving, he brought his hand down to her hair. He let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and tried to slow down the beating of his heart. What was he supposed to do?

 ***Rey***

Rey took a deep breath and sighed. She opened her eyes slowly and confirmed what she thought, her arms were around Ben and her face was nestled into his chest. _Oh my god what am I doing?_ She closed her eyes tight and took a deep breath.

''Ben?'' she whispered.

''Rey.'' he replied, in a somewhat mocking tone.

She pulled away and lay flat on her back looking up at the ceiling of the cave. She could feel the blood rising to her cheeks so she sat up and put her face in her hands to hide her embarrassment. She felt him sit up beside her and put a hand on her shoulder.

''I'm sorry. I didn't mean to- I wasn't- I didn't mean to invade your personal space. I'm sorry.'' she blurted, looking up at him. _His eyes are so brown_.

''You didn't. It's okay. This cave is really beautiful.'' He said, obviously trying to change the subject. She appreciated his attempt to ease the awkwardness; he had to of felt a bit weird at this situation too. But she had to admit, she hadn't slept that well in a long time, and sleeping next to him felt.. right. She looked up at the cave crystals glittering in the morning sunlight.

''I've never seen it before last night, I like exploring here. It's all so pretty. I can't take it underground at the base it makes me feel so uneasy. I like being out in the open.'' She turned to Ben and smiled. It must have been about 6am. ''I don't want to go back down there. I hate it.''

 ***Kylo***

With a sudden burst of courage, he put an arm around her shoulders, relieved when she rested her head against his chest. All of his concentration then going on keeping his breathing steady, his pride didn't want her knowing what kind of effect she had on him. Resting his chin on top of her head he closed his eyes and smiled contently.

''I wish I could stay here forever, forget the war, the First Order, the Resistance. Why can't everything be normal? Why do we have to focus our lives on fighting, why can't we just _live?''_ Rey said, her frustration leaking through to her voice.

He understood where she was coming from. He felt like that too, but he was too invested in the First Order now, he had burned his bridges with his mother when he killed _him._ He had nowhere to go should he ever decide to leave the Order. But he could easily imagine himself staying in this cave forever; it was much too easy to see himself leaving the Order to stay here, to stay here _with her._

''It's too easy to imagine not going back isn't it?'' he smiled. Standing up, he stretched his arms out and moved his head side to side to crack his neck. Reaching out to her, she took his hand and he pulled her to her feet. _She is beautiful._ Looking down he realised they were still holding hands. Beaming up at him, she pulled him forward, to the mouth of the cave, right before the waterfall she stopped. Using the Force, she created a curtain like gap in the water large enough for the two of them to slip through, dry as a bone.

''Let's go for a walk before we need to go back.'' She said, pulling him in the direction of the forest. ''We'll stay away from the path so we won't bump into anyone. Just us.''

''What have you been up to since we spoke last?'' he asked, he knew he sounded absolutely ridiculous; he never had to make small talk in his life.

''I've just been, keeping busy. I go exploring almost every day, just going back to the base for meetings and to sleep. I haven't really felt the same since Crait. I love everyone back at the Resistance, but they all seem so naïve and clueless.''

''I understand completely! Everyone in the Order is always focusing on the next attack, and finding rebels and killing and sometimes I wish.. I wish I could just run away. For even a day, to be normal and pretend I'm not the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Everything was fine before you came along, I was content being on the dark side, now I'm.. I don't know what I am.''

He glanced over at her and couldn't help but notice the huge smile that had taken over her face. He was flattered that she seemed so happy at him being so conflicted. He liked that she seemed happy at the prospect of him changing.

''Ben?'' he noticed the sudden change in her tone immediately and stopped walking and turned her to look at him. He looked down at her, worry etched all over his face.

''When you go back to the Order later,'' she gulped and looked down at her feet, ''Can we still, uh, talk? I've been cracking up having no one to talk to. No one understands.''

He caught her chin in his hand and turned her face up to look at him. _Her blush is so cute._ She bit her lip, she looked worried. And just then, he realised that she needed him just as much as he needed her.

''Of course. I tried so hard to forget about you and move on with the Order but ever since we fought side by side after I killed Snoke, I haven't been able to stop thinking that maybe there is different path I could have taken. One I wished I had taken a long time ago but I fear it's too late for me. That path is more than likely closed for me.'' He confessed.

''It's not Ben! I promise you that it isn't too late for you to return to the Light. Sure if you come back people will be skeptical but Leia, your mother, she will convince everyone that you really are worthy of peoples forgiveness. It's not your fault. If I could realise that then so could other people.''

Sighing, he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes tight. ''It's not that simple Rey. People won't accept me like you did. I don't think I could face my mother after what I done to .. to my father. If I can't forgive myself, then she won't either.''

He opened his eyes and was shocked to see that a tear had escaped her eye. She was crying, _for him._ It broke his heart seeing her upset because of him and he hated himself for making her cry. _Why do I ruin everything?!_ Clearing his throat, he stood up straight.

''Rey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm going to go it's-'' He turned to walk away, but she caught his hand and turned his body back to face her, confusion all over her face. But giving herself no time to think about what she was about to do, she pulled him toward her and brought his face to hers and kissed him.

He was in shock. He didn't know what to do at first but when his senses returned to him he brought one of his hands to her hair and the other to the small of her back. Her lips were so soft and he didn't think he could ever let go of her. He pressed her body against his, and eventually they had to come up for air. Resting his forehead against hers, for the second time in a few minutes, only now under completely different circumstances. Their breathing was heavy; neither of them ever having experienced anything like this before.

''Ben, please don't leave.'' She whispered. ''I don't think I could take it now that the bond is open again. Please.'' The desperation in her voice broke his heart.

''I won't.'' he replied. He kissed her again. ''Never.''

 ***Rey***

She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest. She couldn't believe what she had just done. She never believed in a million years that she would have the courage to do something like that. But she was so happy that she had done it. The moment was done too soon when her radio beeped to let her know that that mornings council was about to meet and she had to make her way back to the base. Looking up at Ben, she shook her head, tears welling in her eyes.

''I don't want to go back just yet.''

''It's okay.'' He kissed her forehead and smiled. ''We're connected now, we can talk whenever you like and I can come here too whenever you want me to. I promise I'm not going to close the bond.''

Pulling away from him, she smoothed out her tunic and kissed him one last time.

''I'll see you later then.'' She smiled, as she turned and jogged away, unable to believe the massive turn of events. But she can't remember the last time she had been this happy!


End file.
